Even As I Am Fully Known

So often I still catch myself believing that love is something that comes after I do a thing.

“I’ll deserve love once I’m wise

When I’m good enough everyone will love me

Only when I’ve proved myself can I be worthy

When I’m pretty, when I’m strong, when I’m humble, once I… when I… then I will be loved”

These messages run yet in my head and heart.

I fail to see love as something that is there for me before I am perfect, I don’t believe I’ll have it while I grow.

The Truth, the beautiful, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing Truth is that God’s Love is there for us no matter what we do. We are Loved – full stop.

He shows us we are worthy through this Gift.

And those on earth, who truly love us, do so before, during and after. They accept and love us just as we are. They place no demands on us nor expect a thing.

I have come to see that there is no such thing as conditional love.

True love, real love, is always unconditional.

And such a gift has the power to change and heal every one of us, if we would only let it in. 

1 Corinthians 13   

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

Bible Verse: New International Version (emphasis added)

Do you catch yourself trying to earn Love rather than just receive it?

When Anger Stops Us Seeing A Friend

When we begin to open our eyes and hearts to the level of addiction that has existed in our lives sometimes its tempting to declare "Well no one has ever loved me! True friendship is a fallacy."

Even if we don’t admit it, deep down, many of us feel cynical about love and friendship. All the little hurts have added up and while we may not say it out loud a part of us has become hard.

But for most of us there have been people - amongst the comings and goings, the growing and learning phases in our lives - who have extended the hand of friendship our way. 

Its true, we may not have noticed.

These special people can pass us by if we want to hold onto our grief and pain, if we want to blame and be victims.

It happens because we get angry instead of sad.

We get angry because we hurt and don't want to know it. We don't want to open up again, to feel how alone and sad and friendless we felt before, when our feet were small and hearts tender.

I know this because I have been there. 

Sometimes the hurt of feeling friendless, abandoned, unloved and unimportant feels too much and I just want to hold onto angry disillusionment instead. 

And if you are like me, then when we do this, when we shut down in this way, we not only miss the chance to receive the gifts and gratitude of true friendship but we also prevent ourselves becoming true friends to others.

When we are willing to be humble to the pain we feel, we will stop trying to have those around us alleviate it, and begin to have something to give.

Before this can happen however we will need to stop blaming others, we will stop waiting for the world to make things fair and safe for us to share and speak and be ourselves.

We will have to ask –

Do I want to be true even if others aren’t?

Do I want to give more than I want to justice?

How much do I want to love?

The story of ‘Through the Mists’ shows us many beautiful examples of friendship in action, not the least of which is Fred’s own life. Fred was a lonely man while on earth, he lacked love and support from almost everyone in his society yet he lived his life in service and friendship to those less fortunate. His humility made him not full of self but of compassion; his integrity made him willing to risk ridicule in order to live by the principle of love he aspired to. 

I have learnt that to be a true friend I will require humility. It may mean taking steps that feel risky. 

But mostly to be your friend I will have integrity. I will honour love and truth above my image or comfort. 

And in this I will serve as a matter of course.

Who has been a friend to you in your childhood or life today? What did they teach you about life and love?